Choosing Books for

Adopted Children

Children's Books on Adoption - A Tapestry Books Guide

One of the biggest gifts we can give our children is an appreciation for—and love of—books. A good story can uplift, amuse, or inspire us, and take us to places we’ve never been. Children’s books on adoption, or one that speaks to the themes adopted children might face, can help us broach difficult topics as well. It can help answer a youngest child’s most basic questions and teach him that families—no matter how they come together—are bound by love.

As children grow older and become independent readers, they can delve into such stories on their own. Classic tales, and newer titles, can help them fill in the blanks about adoption, gain a clearer understanding of their past, connect with their birth countries, and form a positive image of themselves.

When choosing children’s books, it’s important to select those that are appropriate for a child’s age and stage of development. The Bank Street College of Education Children’s Books Committee, and our own adoption experts, have compiled the following guidelines to help you choose books for young readers.

Ages 2-4

As children enter daycare or preschool, they become aware of the world outside their family. Your child may notice that a friend’s mother has a baby growing in her “tummy,” or that a classmate’s skin is darker (or lighter) than his/her own. Since preschoolers are curious by nature, they may ask, “Did I grow in your tummy, too?” or “How come my skin is darker than yours?” Simple children’s books on adoption can help you answer such questions and talk to your child about his/her own adoption story.

What to look for: Preschool children are egocentric, concrete thinkers: In their mind, the world they experience is the only world that exists. When choosing children’s books, look for titles that balance brightly colored pictures with simple words—and that clearly explain abstract concepts, such as adoption, to a child.

Kids this age are beginning to develop a sense of identity, and will benefit from books that reinforce a positive image of themselves. They may enjoy books that contain characters who look like them (particularly if a child is transracially adopted); or those with characters whose families resemble their own. For instance, there are books in which a child is adopted by a single parent or gay couple; or stories that depict a blended family with biological and adopted kids.

Preschoolers also enjoy fantasy, or humorous, books that allow them to face their fears in a nonthreatening way. Two- to four-year-olds may be afraid of being separated from their parents, or “replaced” by the adoption or birth of a sibling. Family-themed stories with a predictable, reassuring outcome can entertain children, as well as help them come to terms with their concerns.

Finally, children this age are learning language and building vocabulary at a rapid rate. Books with rhyming or playful text are especially popular with young listeners.

Tapestry Recommends:

* A Mother for Choco, by Keiko Kasza

* Are You My Mother? by P. D. Eastman

* The Little Engine that Could, by Watty Piper

* Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown

* Guess How Much I Love You, by Sam McBratney

* Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale, by Karen Katz

* The Family Book, by Todd Parr

Ages 5-8

During grade school, children become more independent, task-oriented (as they learn to read and write), and focused on friends. They’re able to understand more details about their adoption story, and may wonder which facts to keep private and which to share. As children get older, they want to fit in; so talking—and reading—about adoption can help them gain a better understanding of themselves, and a sense of how they blend in with peers.

What to look for: Many of the adoption themed books that appeal to preschool children will be of interest to five- and six-year-olds, too. At this age, children view the books with a new set of eyes, and may be able to read simpler stories on their own.

Five- and six-year-olds are still concrete thinkers, but have a growing curiosity about the world. They are ready for books with more complex concepts about adoption; humorous books that address their fears; and fables and tales from different countries, including their birth country. They also have a strong sense of fairness, and right and wrong, and enjoy stories or fables with a moral. At this age books can be about adopted children and their story.

Seven- and eight-year-olds begin to make the leap into abstract thinking: They understand that people and things exist beyond their day-to-day lives. At this stage, they better understand the concept of birthparents, and that they have two sets of parents in the world. Children this age are also conscious of their appearance. They’re more aware of whether they look like family members and friends, and may have to field adoption related questions from their peers. (Other kids might ask, “How come you don’t look like your mom?” “Is that your real mom?”, “Why did your real mom give you away?” etc.)

Children’s books that help grade-schoolers develop a positive sense of identity, better understand adoption, and respond to questions—in their own way—can be helpful. Kids can also relate to books that celebrate their birth culture or ethnicity, and contain characters who look like them.

Tapestry Recommends:

* The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

* Brown Like Me, by Noelle Lamperti

* All About Adoption: How Families are Made, by Marc Nemiroff

* Stellaluna, by Janell Cannon & Jewell Cannon

* The Mulberry Bird, by Anne Braff Brodzinsky

* Horace, by Holly Keller

Quick Facts:

BABIES AND TODDLERS	• Very young children are attracted by brightly colored pictures of simple objects. • They are listeners, and respond well to books with simple texts and good rhythms.
NURSERY SCHOOL AND KINDERGARTEN	• Books depicting familiar objects and experiences are enjoyable to children in this age group. • These children like listening to slightly complex texts with good rhythm and effective word repetition.
EARLY SCHOOL YEARS (AGES 5-8)	• For reading to or with children, select picture books with strong storylines and character development. • For the child who is reading independently, choose a book with a straightforward story with familiar words. • A lot of informational books have been published for the early grades. These books encourage children to read about topics that interest them and to satisfy their curiosity about complex subjects.